I learned today is that my favorite song was played at the Sochi Winter Olympics this year. Didn’t know that.
Anyway, since I was fifteen or so (about ten years ago) I found, then immediately fell in love with, this song called “ResuRection” from the Russian trance duo PPK (ППК). In America, we call it “Resurrection.” Not sure it matters to mention that, because it seems obvious. I wanted to be precise about it. They have another song called “InsuRection”, so it seems important to them.
I love this song. It reminds me of space. Of the unknown. Of the future, and optimism, and hope. It reminds me of what could happen, and why not to be afraid. I’m not sure how I feel all that in “ResuRection”, but that seems to be what was intended. So good job there.
Also, I can whistle the tune at pitch. That is a feat for me.
I won’t be able to find an official video of “ResuRection”, but I figured I’d post the song anyway since the song is free to download from MP3.com. If you happen to like it enough to own it, good for you. It will be yet another thing me and my really small fan base has in common. Yay!
I never liked fighting. My family used to do it all the time when I was growing up. Feelings were hurt more than anything else. Because of this, I don’t see fighting as the end of anything. It starts more than it finishes. It usually never finishes.
When I’m feeling bad about myself, I tend to believe that Mike and I might break up when we fight. They aren’t bad fights either. They’re minor compared to what I grew up with. Despite that, these altercations tend to happen right before my period. Mike thinks I’m being serious every time I say it, but when the body changes chemistry on you without warning, anything can be said without your mind being behind it.
The fact he’s stayed with me through that is probably a good thing. It is that, or the fights are not as bad as I think they are. Also good to know.
I’m optimistic for the end of October. The beginning of November is when this diary will be over. I will answer 731 questions by then, one a day, for two years (there’s an extra two questions I added at some point, and I don’t remember when).
Well, I think it’s impressive, anyway.
Something else I’m optimistic about is getting an English-degree-oriented job. Eventually. I’m being really obstinate about finding something I’ve went to school for. I have higher hopes of finding something in a smaller town, because I won’t be so scared of driving in a smaller town. Driving will give me a larger radius to look for jobs in.
Of course, Mike doesn’t seem to mind that I’m not able to find a job that I want in Grand Rapids within walking distance. However, my drain on his financial resources can’t be good either, so he might actually be torn between me just getting any job, and me not writing this blog anymore so I can focus on writing stories (and getting famous).
I really want to get back to writing stories exclusively as well, but I try to ignore myself because I promised myself I’d finish this blog.
Any evening where I’m away from this computer, and not spending it by learning about something new. That is a boring evening to me.
The best news I can give you is that such an evening has not happened in a very, very long time. My evenings away from my computer are spent watching documentaries, drawing, painting, or reading books. My evenings once a week also tend to involve friends at a local micro-brewery. Those evenings I consider to have “off” from my regular working schedule.
The worst news I can give you is that there will be an evening where I will be bored again. I hope I will never have to tell this diary about it before it ends. I promise to make note of it in the future for when it ever happens. Not that I’ll tell you about it, because that would be boring, but I will remember it.
You’re welcome, I suppose. Now, let’s not talk about this again.
I don’t know if anyone else is searching for it, but I’d like to be remembered for my pursuit of happiness, not my pursuit of retirement. I want a career that really matters to the world, and helps improve it. I want to make someone else as happy as I could be if I just got the right job.
It’s not remotely logical that I have to give to a society which doesn’t make it easy to give to it like that. So why contribute when it is obvious that those in power don’t want it to be easy or cheap? If the United States were farmers, and we were their crops, they would be destroying their crops. They’re wasting perfectly intelligent brains by not giving us enough nutrients to let us grow properly. Or even educate us properly.
I will be remembered for trying to be happy in the United States. I’ll find a job that matters eventually.
There is a lot of meaning for the word “fine”, but I have a feeling this question is referring to education as if it was a fine wine.
Problem is… I wouldn’t know for sure. I’ve been to exactly one elementary school, one high school, and one college. I’ve never even walked on other college campuses to know the difference between them. So anything I say in this sense will be rather ignorant. I don’t have the correct experience with education to be able to tell anyone what the best of the best is.
Dying is a scary concept, but I think of it a lot like a dreamless sleep.
Then I think of what exactly is a dreamless sleep. The lack of electrical activity… the electrical impulses in my head.
If that is true – that I am merely electricity – then once I die, I dissipate into the universe. I will perhaps go inward. Go down to the smallest particle that we can’t see, but know of.
As I shrink, my universe gets larger again. It gets larger. And larger. I start to realize that down here, there’s a point where particles are all little universes, and that the universe I inhabited was a condensation of all those universes trying to form into a higher consciousness.
I could go deeper. I could descend further into reality trying to compose itself, and find somewhere which is whole, complete, and filled with perfection because it has to function exactly right to make up what we consider our reality above, where I just “died”.