I haven’t really lost a loved one as I’m not old enough to. But loss is a funny, and specific entity in our lives, and it doesn’t care if someone is dead or simply not talking to you anymore. The sense of loss can be astringent in such a case, can penetrate the deep well of your soul, and hit the bottom in a loud desolate thud. More than anything I cherish those who are still alive and fear me. I’d simply ask them what do they have to fear?
If they were smart, and brilliant they would respond that they were afraid of what they would do to me. It is wise to suspect yourself before others in situations of fear. But I had plenty of lost friends… not all of them would admit that they were afraid of themselves. They would blame me. And I admit that sometimes it is I that runs. The difference is that I always run because I am afraid of destroying myself. I simply admit I can’t do anything but be afraid when I must be, and that is the human condition. If we don’t have anything to fear, our world would be peaceful, and what everyone fears about that is clear and present superficial boredom of such a world.
So to all those who have lost–don’t grieve over it. They left when they had to. They’ll return if they want to. It is in your best interest to believe they are better off, though, and you should be the same, not to spite them, but to take care of yourself.
That’s enough musing…
Republished on the Whaleshares blockchain on 12/14/2018.
Anya Ehrim's Diary 